Opening to Good Orderly Direction
Releasing the temptation to figure out everything, forever, right now
I’m addicted to lists. Whenever I face a decision, it registers in my gut as an open loop that must be closed ASAP. My default response is to open up my journal, list all the available options, and choose one — the sooner, the better.
I write furiously, creating long bulleted lists of ideas, driving the word count of my journal to heroic proportions. (My 2024 journal clocks in at 86,000 words — book-length.) The underlying assumption is that I think best through my fingers: If I just fill the screen with enough words, the “right answer” will suddenly appear in those solid blocks of black text.
This almost never works, now matter how hard I try.
Creativity, including decision making and problem solving, is a process of opening to chaos. This defies my craving for order and certainty, my aversion to messiness. I find myself called over and over again to take a deep breath and enter the liminal space of not knowing yet. This is sacred space, one that can transform me as I could never transform myself.
If I allow it, an open question will speak to me on its own terms, in its own way. Eventually the question will evoke a protean wisdom that exists inside me, a way of knowing that merges thinking and feeling. This is a source of guidance that exists several layers below the ordinary mind, the deep well of wisdom described in Trusting the Heartmind.
The process takes time, however. It helps to remind myself about the difference between being indecisive and being undecided. The former term refers to never making decisions. The latter refers to making decisions wisely, when the time is ripe.
In Twelve Step groups they call this opening to good orderly direction. It’s described masterfully in this passage from Alcoholics Anonymous (the “Big Book”):
In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don’t struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind…
I don’t have to call this part of the mind God. I can call it intuition, intelligence, deep mind, Buddha mind, inner wisdom, Christ Consciousness — whatever terms opens the door for me today.
There’s no theology implied here. Belief is not required — only enough patience for the “occasional inspiration.”
I was reminded about all this while reading this article by Casey Rosengren. While undergoing a career transition, he took time off to do a meditation retreat at a monastery in upstate New York. Though the setting was pristine and beautiful, Casey still suffered.
“I was trying very hard to figure out what I should do next with my life — journaling, reading, and thinking through each option over and over in my head,” Casey recalls. “I wasn’t enjoying my time away, and I wasn’t making any progress on my decision.”
Eventually he did the “tombstone exercise,” writing down the epitaph that he feared would appear above his grave:
Here lies Casey. He tried to figure out what to do with his life.
Somehow those two sentences summoned good orderly direction. They reminded Casey that he can be intentional while enjoying the present moment and waiting for answers arrive on their own. Eventually he wrote at a new epitaph:
Here lies Casey. He thought intentionally about what he wanted in life, and still lived his moments fully, with love, play, and irreverence.
Good orderly direction has everything to do with being born into a human body — the greatest spiritual text in the world. Revelations are written in this book of blood, bone, and muscle, just waiting to be read.
When I focus on breathing and body sensations during meditation, my mind eventually becomes silent. Insights and intentions arise spontaneously. Guidance wells up from a place beyond my ordinary stream of thought.
God as Good Orderly Direction enters a silent mind, a spacious mind, a still mind. Clarity comes from a depth of attention that’s rooted in the flesh. Just stay alert, relax, and take it easy.
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Thanks this was helpful! - "releasing the temptation to figure out everything...